1 year ago I made a decision that drastically changed the course of my life. In a moment of stress and fear I stepped into a world of secrecy and self inflicted pain. I trapped myself in a web of stories that I had personally manifested… stories based purely on my perception, stories that I convinced myself to be reality.
1 Year ago, in the bathroom of my family home – my battle with bulimia began – a battle which I would soon find out has very little to do with body image, but almost entirely to do with feelings of self worth.
TRUTH set me free.
Each moment throughout my journey that I have broken down a wall, allowing myself to be vulnerable and honest about my fears, and owning the lies I tell myself, I take a step closer to truly feeling FREE. Owning the truth, owning my fears, I move closer to understanding my authentic self.
Truth allows me to BREATHE. Truth is my FREEDOM
I have to admit, I have been scared to share my story, scared of being judged, scared that people will look at me differently. I am an educator, a strong and successful young woman, how could I have let this happen?
The fact is, it happens.
I am not the first person to feel overcome by veil of darkness brought on by shame and disgust, knowing that their actions go against their core values.
I am not the first person to look in a mirror with dissatisfaction, or finish a meal with regret.
So. I will no longer feel shame. I will no longer hide.
Positive mental health can only be a reality, if we are open to talking about it, and supporting one another.
I share my story not for sympathy, but to say You are NOT alone. I hope that me owning my lies and sharing my TRUTH, will inspire you to tell your truth, taking a step toward understanding your authentic self.
I am still, and will forever by on a journey of self discovery. I still have my struggles and low moments. But with Openness and conversation lets remove the STIGMA. I will not let bulimia define me. I am moving forward. The web of lies is weakening one learning moment at a time.